To celebrate the end of the year and to hopefully spread good things this holiday season, I’m excited to reflect on lessons learned, or even reinforced, in the last year.
Here’s a double feature for part two!
You never know… If you never try.
And you never know… If you never ask.
So much fear drives humanity that it confounds me at times, even when it comes to little things.
Like being afraid to try a food you had a bad experience with as a kid.
Like being afraid to ask for help.
In being afraid, we avoid a lot of what could bring us satisfaction, connection, and potentially even joy.
Think of the example I shared recently… I had a traumatic experience with a full boned-in being put on a caesar salad growing up, so much so that I wouldn’t touch chicken with a bone in it… only to now find great enjoyment and flavor in eating chicken off the bone. Like, who knew the skin was so delicious and how fun it is to pick the meat off the bone?
My own fear kept me from trying chicken wings for decades. Now I get to enjoy them with my love for Sunday Night Football (who knew I would enjoy that so much too?)! But I could have been enjoying them sooner.
It feels silly to avoid things because you’re scared of them or think they are painful or scary. Obviously, take care of yourself and what you need, but there’s bravery in trying something you swore you’d never try or eat again. Like me with the chicken, mushrooms, and even tomatoes and onions.
Just last night, I enjoyed a tomato and onion sauté last night… and my fiancé was like, ‘Miss I don’t really eat onions?” and “Miss I don’t really like tomatoes?”
My tastes have changed, and thankfully so have my allergies. That way I can have my pineapple and bananas again. How great is that!
Because you’re not the same person cellularly that you were seven years ago. The body regenerates its cells every seven years, so while the essence of you hasn’t changed, the rest of your body has. So… it’s worth it to yourself to try something that you might find you enjoy… or enjoy again.
You never know if you never try.
(But we’re not talking about lobster here. I’ve tried it a couple of times—yes, spread out by the seven-year cellular regeneration period—and BLEURGH.)
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I was also lightly teased over the weekend for my “hungry eyes” scouring over the Snickers bar my love was snacking on but didn’t finish. He made a silent challenge of, “If she doesn’t ask for it, then I’m not going to give it to her.”
Now this is a micro example, and it made me laugh when he shared it with me the next day, but… I didn’t ask for the Snickers even though I wanted it, and even though I was feeling quite noshy. But, me also being me, I didn’t want to go overboard on sugar right before bed, either. So I didn’t ask, but clearly I should have if I wanted it so badly that my “hungry eyes” came out.
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And for a final recent example:
A dear friend whose book I’m formatting at the top of the year also went out on a limb to ask if they qualified for the bonuses I have in store for folks if they pre-book editing services for 2024.
While those bonuses are for folks who have an editing package/service—as opposed to formatting which I can complete in a day, two max—if they hadn’t asked, I wouldn’t have felt inspired to offer them a little bonus since they are, in fact, pre-booking their formatting for the new year.
(Fun fact: pre-booking such things can be a great motivator to get things done by a certain deadline and keeps you accountable to someone outside yourself, which is doubly helpful!)
And if they hadn’t asked, I don’t know that I would have thought to offer the bonus since this project has been on my radar for so long.
If you don’t ask if you can get the special deal, then you won’t get it.
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If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
The only way to get a yes is to actually put yourself out there and ask. And that takes courage.
So… You really don’t know unless you ask, and you don’t know something until you try it out for yourself (or try it again).
The only way to know is to give it a shot.
Shoot your shot.
Ask for what you want.
Ask for what you need.
Seek the help if you need it.
You may even be surprised by the outcome or who shows up to help along the way!
And, while this is something I’m actively working on, I love finding new examples that prove how important staying curious, open-minded, honest, and direct can serve one in both getting their needs met but also furthering their dreams.
So, tell me, what is it you’ll be trying or asking for this coming year? Drop a comment and start seeing it through!
Stay open, friends. See you next week for part three in lessons from 2023!